Starting Over

          Its been a while then, since I promised my self not to write anything here unless I have really something to say other than posting stuff I'm quite not at ease of telling. For the past years, two years to be exact. I got lost. I had a feeling of loneliness inside me. Got confused of things in life that started to turn me on something I'm not. Realized that all this time, I got incarcerated by the only thing that made me whole in the past. I can't believe that I let it happen. 

        I have tried to overcome this mess I put my self in. I do. But I don't know how. I felt alone as if I could not trust no one, it is not something I can even open up with my family. I grew up not telling anything that needs something about their share. I took it all upon by my self. There was this time I took an attempt but I only got discourage, so I shut up and leave it hanging. I even reach out to my friends but everyone has issues on their own. 

      Instead of dreading it all I find my own way of mending my self. I begun to accept everything that happened. Acknowledged all imperfections and limitations. Improved what I lack the most at the moment and accumulate the confidence they damaged. 

       There are things in our life that even ourselves are not quite aware of. You'll just realized that something is not right the moment you stop doing your usual routine. You start to ask questions and find answers to things that bothers you. At some point you already have the answer but find it difficult to execute. We, people, always demands of great suffering that comes to our life which often diminish our self worth. Why can't we just do our thing and live the life that we dream to happen?

Best Friends

For twenty one years of my existence I still haven't found what I can call "My Best Friend". Its kinda sad but its true. The fact that I have been good to all the people I acquainted and almost treated them as my family, too bad I really haven't found one who is true to me. Some calls and treats me  as their best friend but that is according to them. Yet I cannot feel anything as if we are so close together. You know a real kind of bonding. Tsk! tsk! tsk! I don't know. I just don't believe anymore, I can tell to their actions. 


This days you will never really know who to trust to. I don't know who to believe anymore. This makes me sad because I really do feel I am all alone. I admit I am a No! No! for being the most friendly person in the group but that does not mean I never care about every friend I have. I do care, a lot actually. What I think right now is that I spend the rest of my life with them yet they don't really even know me at all. The people I call my friends even miss judge me for some reasons. 


Okay, fine. I am different. I have different perspective in life, different excitement, different point of view other than that I'm also a human having a so called heart that beats just like them. This is life right?  We are all different but we have commonalities in each  and everyone to become one.         


I don't need anything! I just need someone who could really make me feel who I really am, the person to accept me honestly; the person whom I could share my greatest desire, attraction, happiness, sadness and most specially I just need a person that I could tell the deepest secret of my life.

Friends

For some time now, friends are the people that carry us to an unexplained situation in our life. "Show me your friends and I'll tell you who you are" This is the phrase that some commentators judge us. Do they realize that not all members of a group are the same. They are called group because at some particular traits, habit, happiness and sadness their able to understand each other. Those keep them bonded and intact

God created all of us human being different but raised commonly. I value my friends a lot. They are gift from up above. Friends help us a lot to become a better person when everyone we thought are the one that does not leads us to success.